


There's Only One Of You

by NotASocialCasualty



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: M/M, YuzuShoma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:35:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 9,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23840173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotASocialCasualty/pseuds/NotASocialCasualty
Summary: He flies. I fall.He smiles and I can't resist it.I'm so lost.He sees me. I fall.He's so magic, how can't he know?I'm all yours.《Some say our love was just made-up words, but I could write a book about how much it hurts.》-There's only one of you. Nathan Sykes.
Relationships: Yuzuru Hanyu/Shoma Uno
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	1. A Daydream Away

> _«_ _I'll keep you a daydream away. Just watch from a safe place, so I never have to lose_ _.»_ _\- A daydream away. All Time Low_  
>    
> 

_December 13th, 2014. Barcelona, Spain._

His every move captivated me. Gently, he moved across the white surface and the world was at his feet.

I, on the other hand, was just watching. I was a no one. He was loved. I was the kid with the poker face. He was perfect. I was a mess.

He was charming. I was too shy.

"Hello" he'd say that simple word and I'd blush from head to toe.

"H-hello, Y-yuzuru-kun" And then I'd make a fool of myself. Every. Single. Time.

I was better when I didn't open my mouth.

And after that, he'd smile and wave goodbye. And I'd be in the clouds.

"He's so cute" I whispered to myself, watching from a safe distance. I always was.

He was at home on the ice. And I was too, but the crowd terrified me. It was heaven for him.

"You've practiced too much. You can do this" My coach told me.

But it was a lie. I skipped practice a few times. I told her I wasn't feeling well because I wanted to lock myself in my room to play videogames. I was wandering around when I was supposed to be practicing my Axel.

I was a failure. And he, he was the gold medalist. The Olympic Champion.

How dare I love him?


	2. Can I be Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story switches POV between Yuzuru and Shoma. One per chapter, so this one is from Yuzuru's and the next one will be Shoma's POV.

> _«You took me back in time to when I was unbroken. » - Can I be him. James Arthur._

Do you ever notice when someone’s been staring at you for far too long? It’s like, it pulses in your skin, and then you can’t think about anything else.

He was quiet. But his eyes were piercing.

I moved around, enjoying the feel of the wind moving my bangs as I twizzled and turned. I was bored, and that man was talking a lot in a language I didn’t understand.

He was bored too. He zoned out the moment someone spoke a word in English, and it made me smile.

“Hey, junior gold medalist. Wanna go eat with me later?” I said as I stopped next to him.

His eyes widened and he looked at me. Waiting for his answer, I stared directly at him.

“I-I…”

I didn’t want a no for an answer. So I smiled, ruffled his hair, and skated away from his ‘no’.

“Yuzuru, to the left”

I frowned. _What?_

Javier Fernandez, my training mate, sighed.

“Stop daydreaming, Yuzu. You need to do a couple of jumps, greet the crowd, and then skate to the left, there.”

“Oh.”

“You didn’t hear a word he said, right?”

I hated English. The man wouldn’t shut up. I might have not.

But as I did what my friend said, my eyes kept wandering towards the little boy standing on the right. And I was meant to go in the opposite direction.

We were always going in opposite directions. 


	3. Say it Again

> _«You run with the sun in your eyes, arms open to whatever you find. Then there’s me, hopelessly trying to find a way of hearing three little words from your mouth.» - Say it again. Frances._

He talked. He joked. I listened. He poked my cheeks and ruffled my hair a lot.

“Sho-chan, stop eyeing my food and eat”

He smirked. I blushed. I looked down. I was too awkward.

“Hey, let’s go walk around”

But I was short. He was tall. I easily got lost in the crowd once or twice.

“Here”

My heart stopped. His fingers intertwined with mine was heaven on earth. It was nothing to him but a way to made sure me, the clumsy little boy, didn’t get lost.

“Sho-chan!”

I always did that. I always zoned out. I could be looking straight into someone’s eyes while I imagined a world were I was talented enough to land a new quad for the first time. A world were I was a history maker, just like the guy next to me.

_And maybe, I’d feel I deserve to feel like this in that world._

“Want an ice-cream?”

I tilted my head.

“But we-”

“Chocolate or Strawberry?”

“Um, strawberry. But-”

One hand holding his chocolate ice-cream, one hand holding me.

One hand holding a disastrous strawberry ice-cream, one holding him.

He laughed.

“It’s everywhere! How did you even manage to…”

I panicked. My t-shirt was pink, my cheeks were pink, my hand was pink. I was trying to fix it as hard as I could, but I was sure even my hair was pink.

Yuzuru leaned and licked my ice-cream, and I froze.

Startled, I blinked at him. He smiled innocently.

“I was trying to help. It melts, look!”

I was a mess, but he seemed to be having the time of his life. I was the reason he was smiling, and there was no better sensation in the world. 


	4. Long Night

> _«_ _Won't you turn around and please look at me? For everything we are, everything we've been. I promise I'll be good If you stay with me._ _»_ _-Long Night. With Confidence._

He was shy. His face was almost emotionless sometimes. He avoided physical contact with everyone, he sometimes even flinched when I touched him and he didn't know it was me.

"Here. Place your hand here" I whispered, amusement clear in my voice as I guided his arm to the lady's back for the medalists' group picture. He didn't touch the girl next to him, he just remained with his arm raised like he was, awkwardly looking around while the cameras flashed.

"You're so cute," I said with my hand on his back, half-hugging him.

He looked away, his face emotionless. And I felt curious. He was so mysterious, like a riddle. I never knew what to expect from him. On the ice, he would turn into this confident, seductive, gorgeous human. It was like this second persona he let out when he skated. Wild, dark, attractive. Any other time, he was too quiet for someone to figure him out.

"Doing some fan service, huh?" Javier said when were exiting the ice. The music was loud so he leaned to whisper in my ear. English was hard enough without noise getting in the way.

"I did not do that to please the fans" I half-yelled in his ear and gave him a small smile. He chuckled.

_I did that because I wanted to._

"It did the job anyway"

I snorted, amused.

And then there it was once again. Those piercing eyes fixed in me, I could feel them in a crowd. But he didn't say a word when I reached his side.

"Hey, Sho-chan!" I called when he was about to leave. He didn't turn so I ran after him. But I didn't manage to reach him to tell him what I wanted.

I stopped at the front exit, heart-pounding and crappy lungs wanting me to spit them out.

_Please don't go yet._


	5. Say you won't let go

> _«_ _I knew I loved you then. But you'd never know. Because I played it cool when I was scared of letting go._ _»_ _– Say you won't let go. James Arthur._

I was a dramatic one, my best friend always told me. I was an insecure jealous small boy, and he thought that was amusing.

"Stop it, Sota" I muttered.

And he'd make fun of me after that until he needed me to help him with math. Or girls.

Sota wouldn't understand. He had a girl. He knew what he wanted. I...

_I'm jealous all the time. It's like Shoma's favorite thing to do._

When he talked to a girl. When he talked to a boy. When he ruffled someone else's hair. When he whispered in someone else's ear.

And I was so tired. My head was a mess. And when that happened, my skating was a mess too. I was in a rollercoaster. Flying up, falling down, twisting and turning.

"I ruined it"

"No, Shoma. It's okay"

But I wouldn't hear my coach. I was impacted by the crowd, the Senior feeling, that one commentator saying I was 'no challenge for Japan's golden boy'. And I knew it.

And I fell.

_I'm not good enough._


	6. The Only Exception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: This chapter is Yuzuru´s POV.   
> (Just in case someone losses track)

> _«_ _Up until now, I've sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness._ _»_ _The Only Exception. Paramore._

I had never realized how beautiful the sound of laughter could be until he laughed. And I felt scared.

I never noticed how soft his skin was until I caressed his cheek. And I felt terrified.

I had no idea. I never saw it coming.

"Yuzu-kun nii, g-ganbarou"

He barely talked with anyone. But he talked with me. He smiled when I felt like telling one of my terrible jokes. He was so cute.

And he wished me luck.

No one ever bothered anymore. I was Yuzuru Hanyu. The Champion. The OLYMPIC champion. Why would I know about nervousness and all that? Why would I need 'luck'? Why would I want someone to cheer me up and tell me 'you can do it'?

I won one title and suddenly I had no right to doubt myself, no right to cry, no right to lose, no right to feel insecure. No right to be me.

I was broken once. And they didn't care. I was sad, but I learned to use this mask. I learned not to care. I learned to be fine on my own. Alone in a hotel room with my own thoughts and white, plain walls. Safe inside my walls, so, on the ice, I was able to give the world what they wanted: the perfect Yuzuru.

And then, one day, it hit me.

"I'm not sure, though. Was it to the left...? Or..."

One time, we got lost. Literally. And that day he hugged me so tight I was actually glad we didn't know which way to go.

**I loved him.**

"He's a senior now."

One day, I realized I was competing against him. And I didn't like it. I loved competing, I admit I'm just a hot-blooded athlete and I have no mercy: I'll crush everyone by a 100 points difference if I can.

But to see his name in the list of the skaters in my category, to know he was chasing the same gold I wanted for myself. It crushed something inside me.

"He wants to be able to challenge you, so you need to go out there and be that one thing he chases, that goal to keep him motivated. And if he earns that gold, you both will be satisfied. Him, because he reached his goal. And you, because you didn't make it easy for him." Javier told me when he basically forced me to tell him the reason why I wasn't landing my quads during practice.

I jumped and jumped. I ran and ran. I wanted to be the one he chased. I wanted to motivate him.

**I wanted _him._**


	7. Heart like yours

> _How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?_ _»_ _– Heart like yours. Willamette Stone._

I felt sad. I wanted to be able to smile like that. I wanted to be confident. I wanted to be strong.

"Hey, take a picture with me, Silver National Medalist" He winked, placing his arm around my shoulders. The crowd loved that. Because he was there. He was the one they were cheering for.

"Yuzuru?" I blushed when he turned and realized it was just me. "Um... let's go together to the next competition"

His smile was so precious. His hugs made me feel safe.

"Sure thing"

He was lying.

"See you at 4 Continents then"

I was so happy.

"See you soon, Sho-chan."

He wasn't there that year. And maybe it was for the best, he didn't need to see how much of a disappointment I was. I prayed he'd have forgotten which day the competition was.

_I don't even deserve to love him as I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If someone is interested in the timeline, this is Japan Nationals in December 2014 and 2015 4CC.


	8. Dancing on my Own

> _«_ _I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her. And I'm right over here, why can't you see me? And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home._ _»_ _– Dancing on my own. Calum Scott._

It was funny. He was kissing someone else. Of course, he was. He was straight, what was I even thinking?

But it still felt awful.

He smiled. He held her hand. He let her fix his beautiful curly hair.

And I wanted to cry. I wanted to unsee the moment their foreheads touched.

_"I can't love you"_

_"You disgust me"_

_"Stay away from me"_

I dreamed he told me all those things. It kept me awake every night. It made me fall every day.

"Yu-chan" He said laughing and chasing the skinny skater. "Give me back my-"

And then he caught me and froze on his tracks. I was startled.

_Yu-chan? Yu? -chan?_

I should be the one he called that. How dare she steal my nickname?

"Hello, Yuzuru"

_Yuzuru? But... but I was..._

"Have a good day, Uno-senshu"

My heart died that day. Once again. 


	9. Harder than you Know

> _«_ _Baby, don't talk to me. I'm trying to let go. Not loving you is harder than you know._ _»_ _\- Harder that you know. Escape the Fate._

It broke me. Trying not to love him was torture.

We didn't talk. I wasn't 'Sho-chan' to him anymore. He didn't call me or text me. I was competing in Tallinn and he was going to Shanghai, miles away from each other.

"You are an idiot. He's an idiot. I can't believe I admire two idiots. "

"But Sota-"

"No, Shoma. Tell me this isn't about that 'I'm not worth it' idea you have. "

"I..."

Sota groaned.

"You just became World Junior Champ! You need to stop belittling yourself now" Sota exclaimed. "If you go to the Final and medal next season, you'll never say again you're not worth it. Promise me, Shoma. "

Me? Going to the final in my first year as a Senior?

"That's not gonna happen anyway, Sota"

He punched my arm.

"Promise me."

"B-"

He punched my arm again.

"Fine" I gave in.

"Fine, what?"

I exploded.

"What's the point, Sota?" I yelled. "I love him, but he's said many times he's into girls! I'm no pair for him! So why? Why do you insist so much?"

"He could be lying."

"What?"

"People lie all the time, Shoma. Surprise, you innocent soul."

Why would he do that? And even if he lied, I still was... me.

"And, Sho-kun. You are worth it, my friend. Although, is he worthy of my best friend?"

We laughed.

"I promise" I whispered. "If I qualify to the Final and medal by some spectacular miracle, I'll tell him. I'll say the words. "


	10. Fools

> _«_ _I am tired of this place, I hope people change. I need to replace what I gave away. And my hopes, they're high, I must keep them small. Though I try to resist I still want it all._ _»_ _– Fools. Troye Sivan._

I messed up at Worlds. There's a reason why I always stay away from falling in love. I care too much. And my heart gets in between my skating and my concentration.

My friend took the medal I wanted while I was distracted. He deserved it. But I wanted that gold.

We didn't talk. I was more aggressive in practices, there it was obvious something was going on. But I kept telling everyone I was okay. My smile made them believe me.

Sometimes I was. I had my friends, Nam and Javier, around me all the time to make me laugh.

But I was not. I tried to hide it, but then we met again in Japan. Fantasy On Ice was going to suck for me.

"Yuzuru, hi"

I froze for one second. And I tried to fool him too.

"Hello Shoma" I smiled.

"Yuzu."

I failed. He moved closer.

"Are you..."

I hugged him. So tight I'm not sure how he managed to breathe. I allowed myself to enjoy it, even if he rejected me. But he didn't pull away.

"I missed you too" he whispered.

_Maybe it won't suck..._ I was okay. There, I was more than okay.

We talked. We laughed. We bought ice-creams. We teased each other a lot.

"Stop, Yuzuru" he said.

"Why? I'm fine"

Shoma squealed.

"S-stop! Stop! Yuzu!"

I was having the time of my life. He, maybe not so much. I was tickling him and enjoying the sounds he made, but he was fighting for it to stop.

Eventually, he managed to grab my wrists, rolled over me, and pinned me to the floor. He stared at me, I couldn't look away. He was panting, I was hypnotized.

"Hey, Yu- What are you doing?" Shoma's face reddened and he jumped like three meters away from me when he heard Javi's voice.

I laughed, seating with a pleased smirk.

_Having him all to myself._


	11. Home is in your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: Shoma's POV for this chapter c:

> _«_ _My skies seem a little bit darker. Sweet dreams come a little bit harder. I hate when you're gone._ _»_ _\- Home is in your eyes. Greyson Chance._

  
He skated, I watched. I tried my best. He definitely tried his best too. We were miles away, facing our own challenges, but we had a meeting place.

"I thought... you had a girlfriend?" He asked me during those Fantasy On Ice heavenly days we spent together.

"Huh?"

"I... saw you kissing a girl. Isn't she...?"

"Oh, Yu-chan" My cheeks reddened. "She's a friend"

"You don't kiss friends like that, Shoma"

_No, she was helping me try to forget you._

Until I discovered it was a lost cause.

"Do you?" He tilted his head smirking, and I swore I saw something shining in his eyes. I blushed and looked away.

"No!"

"Ah, shame" He shrugged and we both laughed. He was joking, of course.

"We tried, me and Yu-chan, but I..." _I love you._

I couldn't finish the phrase.

"So, you're a lonely soul like me again?"

_Like... you?_

I smiled to the carpeted floor we were seated in.

"I've always been"

"We can be lonely souls together then"

I looked at him. He looked at me. And I swear there was nothing prettier than his smile.

"Is that a proposal?"

"Yup" he nodded several times, like a little kid.

He had no idea. But that helped me sleep at night.

"Me and you against the world. Do you accept, Uno-senshu?"

He had no idea. But I loved him so, so much.

"I accept, Hanyu-senshu"

He had no idea. But I would follow him to the end of the world.


	12. In love again

> _«_ _I wanna fall in love again, but this time with no regrets. I don't want just anyone. Not anyone new. I wanna fall in love with you._ _»_ _– In love again. Colbie Caillat_

"See you at the Final, Sho-chan"

He smiled.

"I'll try my best"

"It's our meeting place, then?"

He hesitated.

"Say yes"

"Wouldn't that make me a liar if I don't qualify?"

I smiled cheekily as I moved to whisper in his ear: "Then make sure we meet there"

Months ago, we said the place we both were heading to today, was our meeting place. We were going to Barcelona, again. I was so excited.

"What's gotten into you, Yuzu?" coach Brian asked me.

"Some called it infatuation, coach," Javi said reaching for his water bottle. He shrugged. "Some called it love."

I blushed. Coach narrowed his eyes.

"Is it that Russian girl?"

"No! I just feel good today." I replied with my limited English.

I did feel good, so I wasn't lying. Technically.

"I think I know who it is!"

My heart stopped.

"I'll tell Miki-san some things I know if you say a name" I menaced.

His eyes widened and knowing I had won, I skated away. He couldn't possibly know, but the idea terrified me. Then, when I landed a combo and turned around for a step sequence, I found _him_ outside the rink.

"Hey"

"I made it" he smiled.

"Yes, you did!" I laughed, ruffling his hair.

And then I realized Javier was looking at us.

_He knows._

"See you later, Sho."

I never told people when I liked someone. I hated to feel vulnerable. I trusted no one when it came to my feelings.

"Yuzuru!"

I turned to find a pretty Russian girl.

"Evgenia-san. Hello. " I nodded.

"Ganbatte!" she pronounced in Japanese and I smiled. "I believe in you, Yuzu."

I bowed.

"Thank you. You too, Evgenia-san. _Ganbatte_ "

When I said goodbye to her, I felt a piercing, familiar, gaze burning holes in my back. But when I turned, he was gone. 


	13. Happier

> _«_ _I know that there's others that deserve you._ _»_ _-Happier. Ed Sheeran._

It occurred to me when I saw him smiling at Evgenia: what if he liked someone? And I knew I had no right to claim him, but I was so jealous. And I cried secretly in the bathroom, drowning in my feelings, and then I pretended nothing happened and entered the ice.

I wanted him to see me. But I fell. No one fell in their Short, but I did.

And him. He was perfect. He was magnificent. He was everything I'll never be.

"I can't do it, Sota"

"Yes, you can." My friend hugged me. He made sure I didn't break.

"Shoma?"

I knew that voice. I hid my face in Sota's shoulders, scared, ashamed.

"Sho-chan" he repeated, concern clear in his voice. I hated it. I hated to make him worry.

I was left alone with him.

"I'm so very proud of you, Sho" Yuzuru said and I stared at him, speechless. "You've made it this far. You're here. You're amazing."

What was he saying?

Yuzuru was right in front of me, but I was looking down. I was crying, I didn't want him to see me like that.

"I believe you will surpass us all. I know it. I've seen how good you are now. The world is meant to be yours."

_I'm not._

"No, Yuzu. The world is yours" I replied. "I can't- I don't-"

My chin was abruptly forced up. And I found something unexpected in his eyes. It scared me.

_Furious, he looks furious._

"Listen, Shoma." He muttered, inches away from my face. "I want you to try and steal it from me. So fight, challenge me, make it about us. But, the victory's for the fiery hearts, for strong spirits. Where's that confident, fiery, attractive Shoma that skated out there? Cause this sure isn't him."

I had no words. I was too lost in his eyes, shining, a ravenous sea of emotions. I was falling into the abyss, and he left me there alone.

"I'll show him how it's done." 


	14. Lighthouse

> _«_ _Follow me when it's dark out. I will be your lighthouse. And if you're lost, I'll lead you back home._ _»_ _-Lighthouse. Hearts & Colors._

I was never that angry before. Never in front of him. But seeing him belittling himself, hurt me. I was a perfectionist, I hated myself when I didn't achieve what I wanted, but... him, he didn't have to go through that... horrible sensation. I wanted him to believe in himself, to be strong, and chase me. Only me. Not his fears.

I was selfish. I've always been. I'm considered humble, kind, a good person; but that's a façade. I want it all for myself. I want victory, golds, the spotlight inside the ice rink.

But Shoma. He was so complicated. So I showed him. I knew he was watching so I made sure he saw me doing my best. Every jump, every spin, everything.

_You can be better than me._

I heard the music, poured my heart into it. I forgot the crowd, I heard them clapping but I was lost in my program.

_You can conquer the world with that fire I see burning in you._

Shoma, he was seventeen. And he was already there, making a brilliant entrance into the Senior category.

_Can't you see how amazing you are?_

I just hoped he knew how much I wanted him to be happy. Because, when he crumbled down, so did I. And there, standing next to his best friend, he smiled and the world made sense.

_He's so beautiful._

I panicked when I realized I was staring at him like the fool in love I was. And I prayed no one saw me. But, since I was the unluckiest man when it came to that, of course, the worst person possible was there when I turned.

Javier.

He said nothing, but his smirk told me what I feared. The secret was not only mine anymore. 


	15. Don't let me go

> _«_ _Now you're standing there, right in front of me. I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe._ _»_ _– Don't let me go. Harry Styles._

I tried my best to show him what I was made of, and I failed. I fell. I made a mess of my program.

And Yuzuru. He was the King.

"You did it, Shoma"

I did not. I medaled only because of everyone's mistakes. Not because I was good.

"So I believe you owe me something."

"But Sota-"

Sota shrugged, a smirk on his face.

"Promises, promises, my friend. Be careful when you make them."

I sighed. But he was right. The thing was, every time I saw Yuzuru, I remembered how pissed he was last time we talked. And I was so scared of him looking at me that way again.

_I love you._

How was I supposed to say that?

_You mean the world to me._

If he was looking into my eyes, how could I say the words?

_I'm so in love with you._

"Hey, hold the bouquet this way."

I frowned. And I did something horrible. I intertwined our arms, confusing completely what he meant.

"No, no" he chuckled. "Were not marrying here"

I blushed. In front of everyone, standing in the podium.

_Wait a second._

I gazed at him and he was laughing at my clumsiness.

_'Here'? What?_

And I smiled too. Embarrassed, happy, glad to see he was not angry anymore. And when no one watched, he hugged me. And I was in heaven.

"Congratulations, Sho-chan."

I smiled in his chest.

"Congrats, king. You were amazing."

He laughed in my ear, his voice so low it made my stomach feel weird.

"Yuzu, I need to tell you something."

He pulled away and there we were. That was it.

"Yeah?"

"I... I think I'm in love. "


	16. I was made for loving you

> _«_ _Touch my soul and hold it tight. I've been waiting all my life. I won't scar your young heart, just take my hand._ _»_ _– I was made for loving you. Tori Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran._

I'd bet good money he saw it all in my eyes. But my face, my voice, revealed nothing.

"Oh yeah?" I managed to say. I was hurt. I was in pain.

Shoma looked down.

"B-but, I don't know how to tell this person"

I blinked. Was he about to ask me, out of all the human population, for love advice?

"I think you're better with words than me, Sho-chan"

He shook his head.

"I'm not. Every time I think I'm about to risk it all, this person, this... incredibly beautiful person looks at me and I-"

Is it Evgenia? I saw him smiling at her. Or perhaps he likes them older, so... Satoko? Or maybe, he finally realized that 'Yu-chan' was the one?

"How would you tell someone what's inside your heart?"

_You ask me._

His eyes shined. His curls were asking me to touch them. His lips... _No._

"M-maybe, showing this person how much you care for them. Sometimes... there's no need for words." I looked away, and put on the best smile I could form then. "But, she's very lucky you love her. "

"That's the problem, Yuzuru" he groaned, covering his face. "It's... not a girl."

I've never been so astounded in my life.

"It's... I..."

He was about to cry when he faced me.

"It's you"

And then he ran away. 


	17. Chasing cars

> _«_ _If I lay here, if I just lay here. Would you lay with me and just forget the world?_ _»_ _-Chasing Cars. Snow Patrol._

I cried for hours. I hide under pillows and blankets and poured my heart out.

"I lost him," I told the pillow. "He..."

He hates me. I disgust him. He thinks I'm horrible. I hate myself.

"Shoma?"

I froze.

"Please open the door."

_No._

"I have something to tell you"

_Please don't do this. I understand._

"Sho-chan, please."

I sat in my bed and looked at the door. _Sho-chan?_

"Are you there?"

I placed my hand on the black wood. But I was a mess. I was not opening that door.

"Did you mean it?"

There was something in his voice. Soft, meaningful, it reached the deepest corners of my soul.

"Please, I need to know"

_Why?_

"Please"

I gulped, resting my forehead against the door. Yuzuru was on the other side, so close.

"Sho-chan..."

"I meant it" I whispered. "I know it's wrong but I-"

"It's okay" his voice made my tears stop. "It's okay."

"You don't need to kindly reject me, Yuzuru. I get it. Please leave me alone."

I didn't expect the next words, but he was clearly pissed.

"And why would I reject you? Look, Shoma. I'm so tired of that attitude of yours, stop whining, stop thinking you worth less than everyone else. It honestly pisses me so _fucking_ much! Can't you see how amazing you are? If you really want something, go and take it!"

So I did. I opened the door and took what I wanted. His lips. 


	18. There's only one of you

> _«_ _There's only one of you, and you're just what I like._ _» - There's only one of you. Nathan Sykes._

Demanding, possessive, controlling. I had never seen this Shoma before. But I surely liked it. The thing was, there was no way I was being controlled. So I fought back. I pushed him into the dark room and managed to close the door and use it as our support.

I cupped his face, I touched those precious curls, and I smiled against his soft lips when he rested his hands in my low back.

"Is this a dream?"

It was that small room, the moonlight, and us. But it was real.

"Have you ever felt like you wanted something so much it hurts?"

He smiled. I nodded.

"Have you ever felt like you can see a universe in someone else's eyes?"

I smiled. He nodded.

"I think I fell asleep while I was crying. "

"Then we're both having a beautiful dream."

He buried his face in my chest. I buried mine on his neck.

"Please stay with me when the dream is over."

We stayed awake. We needed to make sure one of us wouldn't disappear if we closed our eyes.

But one thing I was sure of. If any of us was having the most beautiful dream, it was me.

"That is so not fair!" Javier complained the next morning. "You two went ahead of me, and now there's no teasing to do."

I was too happy.

"He likes me, can you believe it?"

Javi rolled his eyes as I had just told him the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Everyone likes you, Yuzu. Being honest, I kind of expected it."

"What?"

"Him. You."

"Why?"

"Some people are simply made for each other."


	19. Long Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, you're not reading a repeated chapter. Chapter titles are songs, each one is used twice in the story. It's something I purposely did when I wrote the story to point out the good and bad moments in a love story. I'm cheesy like that.

> _«_ _Now it's just me and I lie awake. And I toss and I turn and I see your face, when I wake from a dream it won't go away. Oh, it's gonna be a long night._ _»_ _-Long night. With Confidence._

I was happy. I trained hard. I wanted him to see my best all the time. I worked hard. I slept better. I ran a lot more. Some things weren't just meant to be. I discovered that after Nationals.

I was lonely at 4 Continents once again. I made a mess. I proved myself I was still a disaster.

I was scared.

He was not there.

We weren't anything but I wanted his hug. We weren't anything but two boys who kissed in a hotel room in Barcelona. I was nothing.

I was terrified.

Suddenly I didn't want to meet him.

_He can't possibly love someone like me._

_He definitely regrets that night._

_Now he knows I'm a joke._

My phone announced he was calling but I didn't answer.

I wanted to forget he ever kissed me. I wanted the pain. I deserved it. He deserved better. 


	20. Home is in your eyes

> _«_ _I travel a thousand miles just so I can see you smile. Feels so far away when you cry, because home is in your eyes._ _»_ _-Home is in your eyes. Greyson Chance._

Maybe, it was just a dream after all.

Or maybe he realized loving someone like me was too much of a burden. Just like everyone else. 

He suddenly wasn't talking to me. But, the moment I saw him, I knew something was wrong. His eyes. His aura. Him.

_He looks different._

"Hello, Sho-"

"Have a good day, Hanyu-senshu" he simply said.

And then he left.

I skated. He skated. We were on the same ice, but we were two worlds apart. After my programs, my foot screamed in pain, reminding me I was still healing from an injury. But I still chased him.

"Shoma!"

_Please, wait._

He kept walking down the hallway. So I forced myself to run. And I didn't stop until my arms surrounded him.

Panting, I whispered:

"Can you please not ignore me?"

My voice definitely hinted how hurt I was. But he said nothing. He didn't even move. I was practically hugging a rag doll.

"What have I done wrong?"

I saw him fall. I saw the pain in his eyes. I didn't see the Shoma I loved skating.

"I'm tired, Yuzuru. Please let me go."

_Please, stay. Stay with me._

"I was so excited to see you. And I know we didn't meet at 4CC but I... I waited every day to see your smile. I waited for what felt like ages and now... Just, please, tell the reason why you hate me."

He stopped walking.

"I...don't hate you," Shoma said in a low voice.

I stared at him as he turned.

"You don't hate me?"

"Uh... no"

I almost collapsed. And then I cried. He panicked. I hid my face in my hands.

"You don't hate me" I repeated and he moved close to me, still panicking.

"I could never hate you, Yuzu."

I hugged him. He froze. He was so familiar. His height, his curly hair, his presence.

"Then please don't treat me like that again, Sho. Please. I need you. And I miss you so much when you're gone."

_Because you're like home to me._

"But, is it okay if... it's just me? Can it be me?"

"The thing is, it can only be you. There's only one of you, one Shoma Uno in the whole world."

"But I-"

"Can it be me, Shoma?" I looked into those eyes, those beautiful eyes of his as I grabbed his hands.

"You'd make me the luckiest guy alive."

"Uh, no. That's me."

He smiled. And I was home. 


	21. The only exception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip: This is Marseille GPF2016. The first time Shoma beat Yuzuru, in the Free he placed second and Yuzu was third.

> _«_ _I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up. Leave with some kind of proof is not a dream._ _»_ _\- The only exception. Paramore._

"Uno-senshu"

_Ugh._

"Are you still calling me that?"

He smiled.

"See? Now you know how I felt that day."

"Yuzuru."

"Shoma."

He smiled. Playful and childishly.

"Are you 5?"

"No, I'm a ten. Look at me." He posed exaggeratedly and I snorted.

"Yuzu?"

"Hm?"

_I'm sorry._

"Nothing. I missed you."

_I'm sorry I made you cry._

He ruffled my hair.

"I missed doing that."

_I promise I won't make you feel sad anymore._

We decided to work hard, to hold on to our promise. I decided I wanted to make him smile. He decided he wanted to ruffle my hair and hold my hand even if we met twice a year. We decided to cherish moments like this. Every once in a while, we collided. In Boston. In Japan. Here in Marseille.

"Yuzu?"

I was lost.

"Huh?"

"You're staring"

Lost in his eyes.

"I think you're beautiful."

I blushed.

"Y-yuzu!"

He smiled and moved closer. So close, only one inch separated our noses.

"Do I make you nervous, Sho-chan?"

Grinning, he looked at my lips.

"No"

"No?"

He was always doing that. Suddenly grabbing my hand for me to turn into a tomato. Suddenly pinching my cheeks during interviews or press conferences. Staring at me like I was interesting at all.

"Sho-chan, I'm a little mad."

"Heh?"

"But I'm so very proud of you as well."

"Ah, Hanyu-senshu. Thank you."

He pouted.

"Shoma!"

I laughed.

"Your program was just as perfect as you are."

And it was because of him.

"Well, you once told me 'Make it about us'. I want you to know I'm here to do that, Yuzu."

His eyes sparkled. And there it was. The hungry athlete, the king looking at me. It was all I wanted. 


	22. Say it again

> _«_ _You're holding my heart in your hands and it's the safest feeling I've had. It can't be true, someone like you feels this way for me. I hear three little words from your mouth and my heart can't figure it out._ _»_ _-Say it Again. Frances._

"The bronze medalist. Representing Japan, Shoma Uno."

He was gorgeous in that red and black costume.

"So, here we are. Just like last year."

"Are we getting married again?" I teased him, offering him my arm. He laughed and for one instant, the crowd represented my emotions.

"Here and everywhere we go, I hope"

"Promise?"

We smiled at each other.

"Until we do it for real."

We watched the night sky that night. There in Marseille, on a Balcony where no one could judge us, put us down, harm us in any way. It was just me and him.

"Sho?"

He turned his head to face me.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me happy."

All of a sudden, he placed one finger on my cheek.

"Sometimes I don't even know if you're a real human, Yuzu. Too perfect to be real, like something I could only dream of."

I smiled lovingly at the little man.

"So I'm in your dreams?"

He blushed. I adored the way he'd always say things like that just for his shyness to color his cheeks like that.

"Am I the man of your dreams?" I kept teasing him. But I didn't expect his next words.

"You are."

My face heated up. I hid my face for him not to see me. But he chuckled, grabbed my hands, and kissed me.

And there was no need for words. We were in love. We were happy. 


	23. In love again

> _«Remember the night's dancing under the sky._ _I got lost in the moonlight, found it in your dark eyes.»_ _-In love again. Colbie Caillat._

"I'm sick"

"I can see that"

His nose was red. His hair was a mess. But somehow, he still was the prettiest human I've ever seen.

"I told you staying in that balcony til 3 am was a bad idea!"

"I was trying to be romantic!"

He pouted, and I stared at him, serious.

"Sho-chan!" Yuzuru whined like a little kid. He kept pouting, but when he opened his arms giving that puppy look, I gave up. I hugged that child in the body of a grown-up man.

"I'll miss you at Nationals"

"No need. I'll go watch you take the Gold"

"No, you need-"

"Oh, here we go again" he groaned. " 'Yuzu, rest', 'Yuzu, stay in bed', 'Yuzu, die of boredom!'," he said in a high-pitched-but-still-ill voice, and I cowered my mouth trying not to laugh.

"Fine. But take care of yourself."

I became the National Champion that year. I was happy. I was learning to accept myself. I was okay. 


	24. Don't let me go

> _«_ _I'm tired of feeling alone. Don't let me... Don't let me go._ _I'm tired of sleeping alone._ _»_ _-Don't let me go. Harry Styles._

"Can I hold your hand?"

I loved the way after saying something like that he'd blush, shyness taking control over him.

I shifted in my seat. I held his cold hands in mine.

"They're so tiny" I realized.

"I heard that" Shoma complained.

"They fit perfectly in mine"

He snorted.

"Yuzu, you can fix it all being cheesy."

"Oh, but I can" I smirked.

The place was cold. But we were ready to compete.

"Ready to take that gold?"

"Ready to try and stop me from doing so?"

"Ready to do your best?"

"Ready to watch me skate?"

"No. I'm never ready."

"Shoma."

He blushed.

"I meant that... You skate so beautifully, every time I think I can handle it and watch your program..."

I hid my face in Pooh-san to stop him from seeing me blushing out of happiness. And there, I was truly happy.

And I thought we were meant to be. I thought I deserved a chance to give love and be loved. Then _she_ appeared.

I was doing a lap on the practice rink while Shoma sat in the bench tying his skates for the millionth time.

"Sho-chan, hi!" Suddenly a girl wrapped her arms around him. A very pretty girl.

"Excuse _you_?" I mumbled to myself. 'Sho-chan' was MINE to call him.

"Oh, Yu. H-"

She kissed him, and I stared, standing in the middle of the rink. Bewildered.

For a second, I was angry. Mad. Ready to turn the world into ashes. Then, the realization hit me. We weren't anything. I never said the words. We were friends. Or maybe more. But I never asked him to be _only mine_.

_Please, stay with her. All I want for you is to be safe, and happy, and I'm not that for you, Sho-chan. I never realized we didn't have a future. Not since I'm me. A male. An Olympic champion. Loving someone like me will only cause you pain._

So I'll let you go. 


	25. Dancing on my own

> _«_ _So far away, but still so near. The lights come up, the music dies._ _But you don't see me standing here._ _»_ _-Dancing on my own. Calum Scott._

I was standing in my final pose. Somehow, I did every single thing in my program the way it was meant to be. As I stood there, watching the crowd, my heart was joyful. And I realized for the first time I was not terrified of being there anymore, I actually adored that sensation when it was them and me, and we were all happy.

I thought I was so lucky.

I thought, maybe I could do it.

_"Shoma Uno's currently in second place"_

I was okay with that. I was okay if it was _him_ in the first place.

But he wasn't.

I met a different Yuzuru that day. The Short program's bronze medalist was quiet, his face expressionless.

"Yuzuru, you were magical to me."

I saw something in his eyes.

"Thank you. You did well too. Congratulations."

His smile was not a real one. He was just being polite.

Maybe, it was because of Yukari. But her kiss was a mistake. I thought he knew it. I thought he knew I only loved him. I was only his.

"We need to talk."

I said nothing. My heart felt weird. The dream was about to turn into a nightmare.

"I want to end this. If there was even something between us."

I thought we were something. I thought if he loved me, I could try and make him happy. I dared to think I was... special.

But words can destroy every inch of happiness in your soul. I learned that during 4 Continents.


	26. A daydream away

> _«_ _We never stood a chance out there, shooting love in real-time._ _»_ _\- A daydream away. All Time Low._

"I... I was..." _Break him. Let him go._ "I was just playing with you"

It hurt me. The look in his eyes.

"No."

It destroyed me. The pain written in his gorgeous facial features. But I stood there, and my face revealed nothing.

"No. You... I know you. You'd never do that."

I felt glad for a second. He _knew_ me. But I shouldn't have let us come this far. I was me, and he was a rising star with a brilliant future. There was no _'us'_ in the script.

"You don't _know me_ at all. That's the thing, Shoma. No one really does. "

A tear slipped down his cheek.

_Please, give me the strength to do this._

"Why? Why would you..." he whispered, looking down.

"I could never be with someone like you." _Because you're an angel._ "That's all"

Every word I said, shattered my heart.

"Oh."

And when he disappeared down the hallway, I swore he left with my heart. And I was alone again. I was lonely inside white walls. It was the way it was meant to be. 


	27. Fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer´s friendly reminder of POV:   
> Shoma

> _«_ _Only fools fall for you._ _»_ _-Fools. Troye Sivan._

We pretended everything was okay in front of the crowd. I somehow manage to hold on to the Bronze medal, and he found himself with the silver medal. And I knew something was wrong the minute he stepped on the ice for his Free. It broke me to see him struggling. Even more than the fact he never loved me.

There was this wall separating us. For the sake of the audience, we smiled. But my heart was bleeding.

_I should've kept my feelings to myself._

We'd still be friends. We were better off as friends. He smiled, and I melted. He laughed, and I was in heaven. I loved him, and he had no idea. And that was it.

_I was not broken._

Now, what was I supposed to do with these feelings? This love. This longing for his presence. The memory of his lips. 

_"What am I supposed to do after I got to taste a dream?"_

I wanted to believe he was lying. Yuzuru Hanyu, a player? It was crazy.

_Someone as sweet, gentle, and..._

But it was the reality. He pushed me away. He broke me without care. I was a fool. A fool who cried to sleep many nights. A fool who slept during class after staying awake all night thinking of him. A fool who still stared at our photographs. A fool who still loved him.


	28. Harder than you know

> _«_ _Baby, don't talk to me. I'm trying to let go._ _Not loving you is harder than you know_ _»_ _-Harder than you know. Escape the Fate._   
>    
> 

"Please tell me you're joking."

I said nothing.

"Oh my god!" Javier yelled. "Are you out of your mind?"

I looked down. I've been having awful training sessions. I've been having awful days. Awful nights.

_I miss him so much._

" _Eres un reverendo idiota, Yuzuru Hanyu!"_ he ranted in Spanish.

"He deserves better"

"What? I'm about to punch you in the face, _tonto_! How could you do that?" he shook his head. He didn't understand.

"You don't give up on love. You fight, you treasure it. You love him and he feels the same, that itself is a miracle. Make him smile, and you'll realize you want no one else to cause it. Stay with him, and you'll realize nothing else matters."

"But-"

"There's no but, Yuzuru!" he yelled, exasperated. "I'm tired of seeing you being a ghost around the Club. Everyone is. We liked you better when you were all lovey-dovey: 'he said he likes my hair!' 'He's so cute'"

"I... can't. I can't love Shoma. You have no idea what I feel like! Just leave it alone!"

And now Javier hated me too.

_Shoma, I miss you so much._

I saw him for a second when I arrived at the hotel in Helsinki. I wanted to tell him I stayed up all night to support him while he competed at Coupe du Printemps. I wanted to tell him how proud I was when he broke the 300 mark. I wanted to tell him so many things.

_Shoma, I love you._   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Javi's Spanish dialogue:   
> -Eres un reverendo idiota: you're a huge idiot.  
> -Tonto: fool.
> 
> Lol, I'm a Spanish speaker, I just couldn't miss the opportunity to use it.


	29. Can I be him

> _«_ _Can I be the one you talk in all your stories?_ _»_ _\- Can I be him. James Arthur_

_Yuzu loves you. He's madly in love with you, he's just a little dumb. Please, if you feel the same, don't let him go. -Unknown number._

Confused, I stared at my phone. I sucked at English, but those incomprehensible words made my heart jump.

I've been competing non-stop in order to distract myself. And oh, how I wish we still were something. Anything but strangers. Friends, lovers, more than that. I wished he loved me like that message said.

_Is it true? Is it possible?_

I was lost in how beautiful he was in that lilac costume. He caught me staring and I swear there was so much in those eyes. Sadness. Worries. Frustration. Pain.

_Why did you lie to me?_

He was distracted that day. He got a deduction because he took too long to start, he messed up his precious quad Sal- triple toe combo and we were both broken when he finished.

I was next to skate. And I felt angry. _You can't just go and make me feel like this and leave._

I wanted him to look at me. I knew he was watching, next to the rink. So I made sure he couldn't look away.

_If you want something, go and take it._

I knew he's a hot-blooded athlete, I knew he wanted that gold. I was going to force him to look at me.

_So fight, challenge me, make it about us._

And I did. I just had no idea I'd be on the podium and he'd be looking at me seating in the crowd after the Short.

_Me and you against the world._

You're a liar, Yuzuru Hanyu 


	30. Say you won't let go

> _«_ _I knew I needed you but I never showed._ _I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old._ _»_ _-Say you won't let go. James Arthur._

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I disappointed everyone in my country. I disappointed my beloved fans. I disappointed Shoma.

And I deserved it.

"Can I come in?"

I knew that voice. I was longing to hear it.

He opened the door anyway.

"What if I was naked?"

He stopped.

"You're not" he frowned.

"But what if?"

"I... I guess I would've seen it all."

I opened my mouth. And my cheeks blushed furiously. I turned. But I knew he saw my reaction.

"Ah, the guy who played with me is shy, huh?"

I deserve his hate.

"Why... why are you here?"

"You lied."

Startled, I stared at him.

"What?"

"You make promises and break them. You say things and then you abandon your words."

Who was this man? I've never seen his eyes shining like this.

"I..."

He stepped closer.

"You lied when you said you wanted me to take the world from you."

We stared at each other for the longest time. I couldn't figure him out. He was still a mystery. And he was so close, tempting me, challenging me, driving me insane.

"So, what are you doing? Make it hard for me."

I was burning and he wasn't even touching me.

"It's all about us, huh?"

I wanted to slap myself the moment I realized I said that out loud.

He smirked and I mirrored his expression, staring straight into his eyes.

"Make sure you watch me tomorrow"

"No, you make sure you watch me"

I always was. I always will, Sho-chan 


	31. Chasing cars

> _«_ _All that I am, all that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes. They're all I can see._ _»_ _-Chasing Cars. Snow Patrol._

There was a maniac smile on his face when he finished his Free Program. And I knew he was looking at me.

"Congratulations, World Champion."

I had no idea how his mind worked, but he smiled like a little kid and hugged me.

"It's because of you."

_I know you didn't lie when you kissed me. I know those eyes._

It was not because of me, he simply was like that. A hot-blooded athlete who tolerated no challenge. And I was an idiot. I got nervous after I deliberately provoked the beast. My hands were shaking. But he was watching me.

_"The silver medalist, representing Japan. Shoma Uno."_

His eyes never left me. I enjoyed it. And there I knew it. I was not letting him go. He was going to regret all those heart-breaking words he said to me.

"I played video-games with Keiji in my room after the Short. We had a great time"

And I knew his eyes were on me.

"Shoma! Selfie?" I smiled at Michael. I took pictures with everyone.

And he kept gazing at me like I was an alien or something.

At the Gala, I found myself walking straight to him. There was something else I wanted him to see. How much I loved him. How much I needed him.

"Watch me," I said looking at those beautiful eyes.

There are some things I never told you, but I hope you know when you hear this song. I hope you know when you see me skating.

Everything _always_ comes back to you 


	32. Heart like yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it's a great time to watch Shoma's EX 'This Town' to get in the mood, as you'll find some lyrics to this song below. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n-ANmgy-uA

> _«How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?_ _How could I live before? How could I have been so blind?»_ _-Heart like yours. Willamette Stone._   
>    
> 

"Watch me"

> _Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there..._

He was gliding across the ice. And I was trapped under his spell.

_And I want to tell you everything, the words I never got to say the first time around._

I forgot about everything else. I knew I hated it when he smiled at someone else. I knew I wanted him to stay next to me.

> _If the whole world was watching, I'd still dance with you._

I was stupid. I didn't deserve someone like him to love me the way he did.

> _Over and over, the only truth: everything comes back to you._

He owned my heart. All I knew was he loved me. Me out of all the human population. I was one lucky idiot.

> _You still make me nervous when you walk into the room. Them butterflies- they come alive when I'm next to you._

Our eyes met during his performance and I realized I was about to cry. It was like he was singing to me, skating his feelings for me to receive them.

> _And I know that it's wrong, that I can't move on. But there's something about you._

I didn't care about the rest of the world. I was going to make sure he was mine.

"I want to apologize"

"What for, _Hanyu-senshu_?"

"I love you. I lied. I can't just let you be happy with someone else. I'm..."

"You what?"

"I'm a liar like you said!" I said desperately "I know I don't deserve you after I pushed you away, made you cry, and told you a million lies but I... I..."

I didn't deserve him. I didn't know what to say to fix what I broke.

"I knew it"

Puzzled, I looked at him. He was smiling.

"What?"

"Someone told me not to let you go. Someone else went ahead and said you love me before you did"

I was so confused for a moment. Then I realized.

_Javier_.

Only he would've done something like that.

_I need to thank that man properly._

"But-"

"Say it again and I might forgive you"

"I love you. I need you. I'm so, so sorry I hurt you. I'm so in love with you, I hope I'm worthy of your love one day. I-"

I was abruptly pulled down. Oh, how I had missed him. His closeness.

"You make it so hard for me to live without you, Sho-chan. I just can't help it but loving you when you're just the way you are"

"Then don't leave me again" he whispered.

"I'll be so annoying and clingy you're gonna regret you said that"

He giggled, but his next words carried the damage I had because I was scared of how much I loved him.

"Please, Yuzuru. As long as you love me, as long as you want me, don't leave."

"My precious Sho. If you want me to stay, I'll never leave."


	33. There's only one of you

> _«_ _They say there's one chance you get, they say there's one life you live._ _But there's only one of you._ _»_   
>    
> 

It was a metaphor. Of course, he left, we were still skaters. But this time he left with a smile, and I went back home with a rose and the right to call him mine. My boyfriend. My angel. My Yuzuru.

And I was his. His boyfriend. His lover. His Sho-chan.

We made it about us. I competed against him, and I knew I had no chance because I was _too-in-love_ every time he skated, but I was trying my best. As a reminder for him, and for me: If you can do it, I can too. And if I can do it, why can't you?

And when time's where hard, we spent entire nights cuddling in hotel rooms, playing videogames, loving each other.

I was scared every day. I just had this insistent fear that he'd push me away again when he realized I wasn't that interesting. But Yuzuru apparently was scared of something else: me forgetting how much he loved me. He became so cheesy, and so demanding those nights when it was just our bodies and no clothes. He made sure every inch of me felt loved. He made sure that I still loved him every time he could.

"Yes, Yuzu. It's been a year, and I still love you"

"Good" he nodded. "I love you too, my Sho-chan. Good luck at the Olympics next week"

"Good luck to you too, my love"

"Oh, I'm winning this. Just letting you know"

"Not if I can do something about it"

I knew there was only one Yuzuru Hanyu. I was lucky he loved me. I was lucky he was mine.   
  


  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter :) Next, a little epilogue and we're done.   
> Thank you for reading.


	34. Epilogue: to the one I love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written from both perspectives. They are sort of talking to each other, hence why I chose to style the text the way it is below.

_I hope you know how much I love you. You make me the happiest man on this planet._

_We've made some of the best memories together._

_I know you make everything better._

_I know there's someone to hold me if I fall._

_I also know I married the most competitive man that ever existed -and it drives me insane sometimes, but it doesn't make me love you any less._

_Always remember that._

**You're not exactly different in that aspect, Sho-chan.**

**You're just as competitive as your husband.**

_We challenged each other._

_We grew up together._

_We made it hard for the other._

**It was the hardest and the best thing to compete against you.**

_I used to daydream all the time about us._

_I don't do that anymore._

_You've made every dream come true._

_**You made me believe I could trust you my heart.** _

_**Here's to many more fulfilled dreams.** _

_**Here's to make so many good memories so we never forget our love during hard times.** _

_I didn't believe in myself and you taught me how._

_I was so quiet, but you were there to make me talk. To make me smile._

_You made me stronger. You made me feel loved._

* * *

"Are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I am"

"Are you sure that you're sure?"

"Jesus, Yuzuru. You're never like this when you skate in front of the crowds."

* * *

_I practically had to force you into my parents' house when we made it official._

_We were engaged and the world knew it._

_But you had problems revealing it to my family._

_Yuzuru Hanyu, a figure skating legend, nervous because he was asking my parents and my younger brother for their blessing._

_Unbelievable._

**I was meeting ones who raised you, the ones I owed your existence to.**

**Of course, I was nervous!**

_And today, we said yes._

**Today we finally married. Today we made it real.**

_I love you, my dear husband. My Yuzu._

**I love you, my Sho-chan.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end


End file.
